Celebration of Life

Two months ago, today, I got a tattoo to celebrate my life as it currently was. It was perfect. I had been considering a tattoo since we began planning for an adoption. Flash forward two years, and my life was full. I had everything I ever wanted, and I wanted – no needed – to mark this moment in time forever.
Of course, there’s Michael, the best husband in the entire world, and the only person I could ever share this journey with. Simply, he’s amazing. He loves me, he loves our girls, and he loves Malcolm. He’s the best daddy to our girls and our boy, and he puts up with my wacky ideas and terrible singing. He’s level-headed and kind-hearted. He’s the leader and guardian of our family.
Murf and Brit, of course, my girls. The day of the tattoo, May 10, was 4 days after Murf completed radiation. My heart was full of hope and love and admiration for her. She’s a survivor, and a tough but gentle baby girl. She’s my first baby, and taught me so much about life and love. She taught me how to love. We went through a lot together, including several homes, our wedding, building the house, and countless times where she supported me emotionally and loved me unconditionally. She’d press her little smush face against mine and nudge me to let me know everything would be ok. I briefly considered a tattoo in college to signify my love for Murf, but could never commit to a design or location. I’m glad I waited.
Because Britney changed my life in a completely different way. She fills our home with such joy. She’s the perfect companion for Murphy, and the perfect distraction as we waited for an adoption match. We got her about two months before we started the process. Looking back, I think the challenges of bringing her home from the shelter, fighting the shelter rules to allow me to adopt her, training her and gaining her trust were all God working though her to make my heart ready for Malcolm. She taught me that love can be hard, and sometimes you have to fight for what is right, but its always worth it. She loves Murf and Malcolm so much. She shares her toys with them, and she always gave Murf first dibs when Malcolm was dropping snacks from his high chair. She’s a gentle baby with a big deep ferocious bark. Don’t be fooled by that bark, though. She doesn’t trust many people, likely a sign of what she went through before we adopted her, but once you gain her trust, you’re in for life. You might be sorry, because she won’t stop jumping on you or licking you.
And then there’s Malcolm. His story and my love for him are all over this blog, but I’ll say it again – he healed my heart. My love for him is the same for my girls, in that I hold them all in such an important and significant place in my heart. But it’s also different, complex in ways I haven’t experienced before. I guess it’s that way for all my babies – I love them all the same, and yet all different because they are individuals.

I can’t truly put my feelings for my three babies and my husband into adequate words. Which is why I chose this tattoo. It’s a sign to the world of what they mean to me.

It’s on my left rib, close to my heart. Two birds, which are symbolic of a couple of things. They can represent me and mike, as the leaders and partners of this family, or they can represent the Lord’s guidance and influence over our family. His influence comes from above and works through each family member to make the world a better place. Next are the names of my babies, in births order, “murphy britney malcolm”.
On Friday, May 10, my 29th birthday, mike and I went see Wicked at the Mahalia Jackson theater. We then drove over to a (clean, well-researched) tattoo shop on Frenchman St. The tattoo artist suggested I either put Malcolm first, or get two separate tattoos, one for my kid, and one for my pups. But I refused. These babies are all equal in my heart, and this tattoo was a sign of how amazing my life was in that moment. How much better it was because these creatures were in it. I knew, deep in my heart, that my life would soon change, though I didn’t know how soon. This tattoo is a symbol of a chapter of my life. I got Murphy when I was 21 years old, married Mike at 23, adopted Britney when I was 26, and Malcolm came into my life at 28. My twenties were amazing. The best years of my life, by far, and I’m not even talking about those college days yet. My awesome friends could fill a whole other post that would run pages and pages long. They entered my life at the best time, and continue to fill my heart in ways I can’t express. This tattoo was a symbol of my twenties, a symbol of my perfect life as it currently was. My heart was overflowing. It’s rare in life that you truly know how good you have it. That day, I knew. And everyday, as I’m getting dressed, brushing my teeth, or going for a swim, I see this tattoo next to my heart, and I know how awesome life truly is.